The Onion Aug 1 2002

The Onion | America's Finest News Sourceā„¢
The Onion | U.S. Takes Out Debt-Consolidation Loan
The Onion | Substance-Abusing Star's Publicist Has Been To Hell And Back
The Onion | Sanrio Introduces New Divorced Character
The Onion | Gym Teacher Secretly Hates Nerds
The Onion | It's Good, Hutchins, But Is It Delta In-Flight Magazine Good?
The Onion | Zing! I Just Got You With Another One Of My Trademark 'Complete Lies'
The Onion | What Do You Think?
The Onion | Infographic
The Onion | Horoscopes